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I’ll Find My Way Home

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I’ll find my way home is a wonderful song written by Jon and Vangelis.

It has helped me get through a very difficult week which saw the 19th anniversary of my former husband’s death, alongside the death of my relationship with my former web hosting provider.

Sadly, the death of loved ones cannot be fixed and this puts everything in perspective with everything else that can be fixed.

Sadly, the death of loved ones cannot be fixed and this puts everything in perspective with everything else that can be fixed. Click To Tweet

Nothing is really that much of a big deal apart from human loss.

I wasn’t the only one feeling the pain this week. Mimi, my heart went out to you when I read your words. And there really are No Words.

Normal service has been resumed for my websites thanks to a genius called Gavin who worked flat out over two days to fix the fixable.

If only we could do the same for people who break and take their own lives.

And as Gavin fixed my online life, I sat listening to I’ll Find My Way Home while remembering the happy times with Phil.

We had divorced before he died and my life was back on track – we were also 3,000 miles apart living different lives.

So the trauma the children and I suffered was vastly different to someone who comes home to find their loved one has gone – I cannot imagine how anyone ever gets over that.

In the beginning – clowning around in the Ontario woods when we first met – 1978

Phil felt worthless. He was anything but that.

He lives on in his sons and, in our five grandchildren he never saw.

I hope this YouTube video will play for everyone watching in other countries – sometimes US videos won’t play over here – so I hope this one plays for you. It is a truly beautiful song and I will put the lyrics below.

I get great comfort from this song and the breathtaking images that are on the video.

Here it is – I’ll Find My Way Home performed by Gregorian:

And here are the lyrics:

I’ll Find My Way Home

You ask me where to begin
Am I so lost in my sin
You ask me where did I fall
I’ll say I can’t tell you when
But if my spirit is lost
How will I find what is near
Don’t question I’m not alone
Somehow I’ll find my way home
My sun shall rise in the east
So shall my heart be at peace
And if you’re asking me when
I’ll say it starts at the end
You know your will to be free
Is matched with love secretly
And talk will alter your prayer
Somehow you’ll find you are there.
Your friend is close by your side

At the CNE ground Toronto in 1978 – happy times.

And speaks in far ancient tongue
A seasons wish will come true
All seasons begin with you
One world we all come from
One world we melt into one
Just hold my hand and we’re there
Somehow we’re going somewhere
Somehow we’re going somewhere
You ask me where to begin

Am I so lost in my sin
You ask me where did I fall
I’ll say I can’t tell you when
But if my spirit is strong
I know it can’t be long
No questions I’m not alone
Somehow I’ll find my way home
Somehow I’ll find my way home
Somehow I’ll find my way home
Somehow I’ll find my way home

Songwriters: Evangelos Papathanassiou / Jon Anderson
I’ll Find My Way Home lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc

What are the songs or words you turn to for comfort when you feel sad?

Drop me a comment below and let me know how you cope with loss.

A happy weekend to everyone – hug your loved ones as much as they will let you before they start wondering if you know something they don’t! 😍

And if you are missing someone – listen to I’ll Find My Way Home or read the words – because we are all going home in the end – make the journey a happy one. 😘

16 thoughts on “I’ll Find My Way Home”

  1. Hello… I am a friend of Debbie’s, and just passing through… I cannot claim any of the life experiences you share here, so I will just respectfully acknowledge, and wish you well in the coming days… I do sincerely hope, when you least expect, joy will overtake you, and take you to a place where the pinatas are full, and you have a solid stick in each hand, and when the treasures fall, all will be chocolate, and not will be melted in the sun shine… and believe you me, in my scenario, there WILL be sunshine, and not just for the day; for the duration.

    1. Hello Myke and welcome – your words made me smile Oh yes, I am already where the piñatas are in my life and fully aware this is not a rehearsal – so thankful for what I have on all levels. And I already have the strong sticks but not worried if the chocolate melts – I’d rather see apples and bananas come tumbling down chocolate makes me ill unfortunately such a shame. Thanks again for your visit from Debbie’s place – much appreciated.

  2. Aww, how sad, Gilly. Losing a loved one, or even a former loved one is so hard. I still cry when I think of my dead husband. Even tho I’ve been remarried a long time. Grief never leaves, it just mellows out, until a fresh wave swamps you again. I’m so happy to hear your present husband has helped you deal. The past is gone, look to the future!

    1. Thanks Melinda – you are right in what you say – it’s those fresh waves that come, even after years have passed – but then that’s all part of being human I guess. I make the most of my life and happiness, very grateful for all the new lives that were created because of Phil – his life was a resounding success in that respect – he just didnt know it. But I do and that gives me a good feeling. Thanks again.

  3. Losing someone you love and/or have connections with (like your sons and grandchildren), whether estranged or not, must be incredibly sad. Sobering thought that anyone could feel worthless! That is a beautiful song and I hope it helped you get through the week. ♥

    My sad song is Odessa, by the Bee Gees. The album (of the same name) was a gift from a boyfriend who brought it back from Australia for me. He moved to another country shortly thereafter, breaking my heart into a million pieces. I remember playing it over and over, wallowing in sorrow. That was half a century ago. 🙂

    1. Thanks Debbie – I have always adored the Bee Gees (much to my husbands horror when he found out!) but I’m not sure I know that song or album, so I’m really looking forward to listening. Thanks so much for the link, I’ll let you know what I think – I know I’m going to love it! And yes, wallowing in musical misery was a thing we used to do over rogue boyfriends wasn’t it! Silly girls we were, wasting precious time but it was ‘all in the game’ to steal another song title

  4. Hello Gilly, Just lost my previous comment, due to disconnection. That was sad. Wanted to say thank you for sharing. The more we share the more we understand that we all have to go through some very sad times to make us a really appreciate the good ones. I can relate to much of what you have said.
    My sad song is Eva Cassidy’s version of Songbird. Cassidy died young of cancer and her music was much appreciated after her death. The music was used in the movie – Love Actually, during a very poignant story, which I thought was sad at the time, not knowing that I would find myself in a similar situation years later. It is a beautiful love song, and at the end of the day Love is all we are left with when its all gone Pete Tong.
    Have a fabulous weekend. Hugs.

    1. Hi Judith – my faithful friend. You’ve stuck with me since the start Sorry you lost your first comment – I hate it when that happens so thank you for doing another one! I know you have had a tough journey over these past 4 years. I have just read your email and replied. And yes, you are right, love is all we are left with when it’s all gone Pete Tong (I had no dea that expression was used over there too). Am about to listen to Eva Cassidy – I will be putting my mascara on in a short while so I hope it isn’t too emotional Thanks so much Judith.

    1. Thank you Jolene – this is the one time in the year I speak out loud about him and the rest of the time I just think of him every day. Hope your weekend is a god one too.

  5. A very moving and open post. No one is worthless, God forbid they feel that way. Sorry you had to endure this. And I love vangelis.

    1. Thanks Paul, much appreciated – no, none is worthless, we all begin with huge potential and some people encounter life situations as children that take them off the path of healthy emotional development. Phil was one such person. Glad you like Vangelis – you have good taste! Thanks for being here.

        1. Oh no Paul! So sorry to hear this. Very hard for family and friends and my heart goes out to you all.

    1. When stuff like this happens, you kind of don’t talk about it publicly but with time, you realise that you have too – we didn’t treat each other very well in the end and it leaves you feeling guilty even though it was 50/50 and we had been apart for a long time when he died. We were young and stupid and didnt know how to cherish each other. As I get older, I understand him more and more, and I would have so many regrets if I didn’t control my thoughts. I’ve been married to a wonderful man for 19 years now and I am thankful for the support he has given me to be able to live with the past. Thanks Sandee and have a wonderful weekend.

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