Skip to content

Donald Trump Is So Tweet!

  • by
Disclaimer – No offence is intended with this post about the arrival of US President Donald Trump in the UK yesterday – it contains very bad language and pokes fun at the Brits, the Yanks, the Queen, Churchill, Hitler and the man who chased someone’s hat along the runway after DT landed. If you are easily offended, go find a food blog – they are usually pretty safe and I don’t want to fall out with you.

I know nothing of politics and have no idea if Donald Trump is the new Messiah or the Devil incarnate.

I only know the press makes shit up and so, the only thing I know for sure about anything is that I know nothing, apart from what the media tells us and of course, what Donald Trump Tweets.

Well, he was hardly off the plane at Stanstead Airport yesterday and Donald Trump was moaning at Foreign Secretary Jeremy Kunt – I do beg your pardon – the K and the H are only one key apart and – well, clumsy old me! Thankfully the C is on the line below.

Anyway, as I was saying, Donald Trump was barely down the steps of Air Farce One when he started bending Jeremy Hunt’s ear about being bullied by the Mayor of London, Sadiq Kahn.

It’s made me realise that online bullying has got really serious now and it needs to stop before someone pushes the red button in a fit of temper gets hurt.

It isn’t clear how Jeremy Hunt replied but there have been rumours he advised Donald Trump to stay away from Sadiq in the playground or tell a teacher if it happens again.

Thankfully, Donald seemed unpeturbed by the perfectly reasonable points made by rantings of Mr Kahn and came back at him with a volley of abuse just as the plane was landing.

Oh come on Donald! Half his height? That was a low blow (no pun intended – honestly).

Chin up Sadiq. Sticks and stones and all that. Not sure what this will do for the war against online bullying for children when such a powerful man can call the Mayor of London a short ass on Twitter and still get invited for dinner at Buck Palace the same night.

The irony of it is, I bumped into Wills when I passed by his end of the table on the way to the loo at the State Banquet last night and I said “Oi, William! Wotcha think about Donald’s Tweet calling Mr Kahn a short ass then?”

Because as we all know, William and all the young royals have been very vocal about cyber bullying lately.

As I was wrestled out in handcuffs by palace guards, I yelled “I was just sayin’!”

Those Tweets of Donald Trump got me thinking – what if we’d had Twitter in WWll?

As I sat outside the palace gates, feeling like a peasant and rubbing my wrists were the handcuffs had dug in – I wondered what kind of Tweets Churchhill would have put on Twitter aimed at Hitler back in the day.

Can you imagine? World leaders back then, carrying on like they do today? Well I can and it goes like this:

I’m not sure that Churchill would have used the word ‘ass’ though.

Probably would have said, “I look forward to licking your bottom”, as is the way of the British upper classes, especially those who went to boarding school.

So I’m left wondering what the Queen thought of it all.

But she was in a difficult position really. I mean, all those cars of his, parked in her back yard!

After a servant said, “oh, I think Donald is here Ma’am’, she went to the window (I’m told by by contact at the palace) and watched for his car.

Her Majesty, I am reliably informed, after watching 12 cars drive up the front garden with no end in sight, said “FFS! Who the hell are all these people and did we get enough Tea bags in?

“And which car is he in anyway?”

“He’s in the helicopter now landing on the Begonias out the back Ma’am”, was the reply.

The Queen, allegedly expressed her surprise at this by uttering:

“A helicopter? A fucking HELICOPTER with all these fucking cars? What is this world coming to Camilla?”

A very good question Liz.

And of course there are about a gazillion Secret Service people swarming around the palace.

But my hero in all this so far is the man who has probably done years and years of training to be able to do what any bodyguard hopes they will never have to do – and that is chase someone’s hat down the runway just as the president is stepping off the plane and the whole world is watching. (See clip that starts at 0:57 seconds).

There are rumours that the runaway hat-catcher has been signed to play for Spurs in goal next season in the hopes that maybe next year they can actually win the European Champion’s League.

19 thoughts on “Donald Trump Is So Tweet!”

  1. Omg Gilly, it’s actually painful watching Trump invade the palace. I felt so bad for the Queen and Harry and William and Kate. I bet they couldn’t wait for it to be over! And why the hell did Trump take his whole family??? I think there’s something very creepy about his relationship with Ivanka… I hope it’s true that Harry snubbed him and I hope he didn’t get one photo op with those young royals or his idiot kids… What a horrible position for all of the Royals to be in. – My favorite – and I’ve NEVER said this about the hag – was Camilla. Her body language speaks volumes and her winking to the press was perfect. She knew what was up. Omg. I could just go on and on about this visit. And I read somewhere that Trump wanted his Royal family to meet THE Royals?? Does this mean we’ll be seeing Ivanka with a tiara soon. – He just makes me want to vomit.

    1. Hi Karen – lovely to see you, thanks. You see the problem I have as someone watching US politics from 4000 miles away, I have no idea what is true about Trump and what is propaganda. I agree, the younger Royals did seem to go to great lengths not to be photographed with DT and it wouldn’t surprise me if they were told by those in power to avoid it. There may be pictures of them with DT but I havent seen any yet. The Royal Family has had a rough ride since Diana’s death and the younger royals are their only hope of survival but they know things are sticky for them. Intelligent people don’t just blindly worship them like my parents’ and grandparents’ generations did. There is so much poverty here now for lots of people lower down the economic chain that it is hard to watch the daily displays of wealth and priviledge the Royal Family has. And yes, that wink!!!!! What was THAT about? She is one tough lady to have managed to marry Charles when the world hated her for Diana’s misery – she ain’t being put down that easily by ANYONE! The aristocratic classes have masses of arrogant confidence. I am pleased that the UK and The US are good friends though – just a shame it has to be through all these gross caricatures and their ostentatious displays of wealth and power. But I’m guessing no one would take it as the cementing of diplomatic relations if you rocked up on my doorstep from Idaho!

  2. Thanks for popping over to my humble blog today to do a little boogieing with me. I’m not sure how things really went down between ‘the Don’…I mean President Trump and the Queen but one thing for sure is photographs don’t lie…well, if Photoshop wasn’t done and judging by the images I saw it looks like the Queen and Trump really enjoyed each others company.

    I usually get a big chuckle from some of Trump’s tweets. Cyberbullying is a real issue, though. I hate to hear kids who say dark, nasty things about another. That’s more than just saying words but a torched soul who wishes true malice on their peers. Our society is breeding unhappy people. Everyone is easily offended which is crazy and lots of people are not satisfied with anything when they have everything to be grateful for. We live in the best of times with so many wonderful inventions, education, career possibilities, and a zillion other freedoms. Those who lived during WWII had barely enough food to eat and sometimes many had nothing at all. We’re a spoiled world. Your post is interesting, well-written, and entertaining. I’m so happy the USA & UK are good furriends.

    1. Thank you Cathy – you are welcome – I loved the music! Yes I agree, the Queen does look as if she is having a ball with the DT! But I guess when you are filthy rich and all your guests are too, a good time all round is on the cards! No worries about making beds and cooking for all those guests for Queenie! Having been brought up with all this royalist stuff, I just see it as a grotesque circus now and quite a few Brits feel the same way these days with so much poverty in the lower levels of society. I don’t know much about Trump at all. On the surface, he seems like he might be good company but IF all the stuff our media tells us is true, then he must be a horrible, sexist, racist pig. I’m not one who believes what the media churns out and as I will never meet him I must keep an open mind to all possiblities. Thanks for popping over Cathy – oh and I’m REALLY glad the UK and US are good friends.

  3. Wonderful humorous observations Gilly. The whole situation reminds me about the story of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” where no one wanted to tell the Emperor that he was naked. Tact and diplomacy were obviously not a requirement for those who voted for him in the U.S.
    Interesting tweets about Mayors of two great cities. Very argumentum ad hominem. ( Remember that from my philosophy class. I was awake!) Attack the man in an argument. He is obviously using the words that he has heard whispered about him in the White House. Don’t worry he will make his Trumpxit.
    Keep Calm and Carry On.

    1. Hello my friend, many thanks Judith – humour is what gets us through isn’t it! I’ve learnt something new today – how I have got through life without hearing about ad hominem I have no idea! But I just looked it up and found the discussion pyramid – what a revelation that is for me, because it clearly explains the tactics 99% of us use to avoid the central issue – so thank you for that little nugget of knowledge. Seems like half the world is waiting fir one kind of xit or anotherLovely to hear from you Judith.

  4. Hilarious Gilly!! A brilliantly funny take on what is really going on behind closed doors. I’ve always wanted to know what the Queen was really thinking about all these incompetent pompous numpties she has to entertain. You’d think they’d leave her alone at her age!

    1. Hi Karen, lovely to see you here, thank you. The queen, I know! I’ve thought that. She’s the same age as my mum and my mum had to give up entertaining heads of state AGES ago! Now you know why I wasn’t at the Wild Voices festival, I was hiding in a cupboard at Buck Palace waiting to eavesdrop on the Banquet. See you soon I hope and while we’re here, isn’t it time for more humour from your pen? Hope so.

  5. I do enjoy your humor. I do not have any kind words about our President. All I can say is he did not win the the county I live in. Although I don’t have a handbook on how a President should act I can say he does not have manners and is a rude man.

    1. Hi Jolene – thank you Seems like we are all at the mercy of some very disturbing changes in our societies and the kind of people who lead us. Everything feels very unpredictable everywhere right now – not a good feeling at all. I suppose we need to strive for happiness in spite of it all – we do live in a rather lovely world after all.

  6. Love your sense of humour, Gilly! 😀 Sadiq Khan and Justin Trudeau have a lot in common. Frightening to think the so-called leader of the free world sports a 12-year-old mentality! Most of us are aghast at the whole spectacle and are waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. Kudos to the Queen for showing her usual grace and rising above it all.

    1. Thanks Debbie I’d go mad if I couldn’t laugh at it all. You will be like me in that you’ll remember life under Pierre Trudeau. For me, coming from 70s England, arriving in Canada was like arriving in paradise – life, in my experience, was very good under his leadership. We had money and lots of luxury compared to the harsher existence in the UK at that time. Have no idea if Justin is like him but I think it is very hard for any leader in the free world to govern without interference from the unseen hands that manipulate everything at global level. Very scary times to be living in.

      1. Oh yes, I was a big fan of Trudeau senior. Justin is much younger than his father was, but also rode the Trudeaumania wave to a landslide election victory (in 2015). He has expressed many of the same sentiments as Sadiq Khan, particularly in regards to feminism.

        Things are so much different now than in the 70s. I try to stay away from politics, but it’s hard to keep quiet, sometimes.

  7. Twitter is the bathroom wall of the internet. I do not approve of much of what the President tweets, but he’s the President. So, whatch gonna do?

    1. Hey I like that description! The bathroom wall of the internet – never heard that before but oh so true! And yes – he IS in charge and that is that – we are waiting with bated breath to see who we will get for the new Prime Minister, but they are all dodgy anyway – happy, sane people don’t seek power in my humble opinion. They just live their lives without craving power.

  8. I keep hearing that Mr. Trump does not act Presidential. Could they please print the rules of acting Presidential. What chapter is “Acting Presidential toward people floating giant diapered likenesses of the President?”
    A former Candidate was, I suppose Presidential when she was sober, which was quite often.

    1. Yep – it’s a hard job by any stretch of the imagination – probably best done by someone sober for sure!!!!

Comments are closed.

Don`t copy text!